Naomi Osaka quite literally came out swinging at this year’s U.S. Open. After defeating the 10th seed Jelena Ostapenko in the first round, the 26 year-old lost her second round match to Karolina Muchova on Thursday evening. The introverted athlete shared an agonizing sentiment of what the loss felt like for her.
“It’s a little rough because I do take these losses really personally,” she said. “It’s like a dramatic word, but, like, I feel like my heart dies every time I lose.”
Osaka’s return to court has been a rollercoaster ride, one that deeply mirrors the experience so many women have returning to work after giving birth. After securing her first round win on Tuesday afternoon, she covered her face with a towel as tears poured down her cheeks. In that moment, it was clear Osaka felt like herself again — and Thursday’s loss seemingly brought her back to a place that felt foreign; a place that left her heart in pieces. And for the women who know that feeling all too well, there was nothing dramatic about it.
But Osaka has already won off the court, scoring a victory for mamas discovering themselves and learning what it looks like to build their identity postpartum: one that is equal parts who they were before baby, and who they become after.
From the moment she stepped foot on the court in a chic and custom brat-green ensemble by designer Yoon Ahn in collaboration with Nike, Osaka was the talk of the tennis world — and our timelines. But another viral moment had the internet asking questions before the tennis phenom made her victorious comeback.
On August 18, Osaka posted a video on her TikTok account replying to a commenter who speculated on a previous video if the four-time Grand Slam singles champ was expecting baby number two.
“I just wanna say, I’m not preggos, but if I was, I wouldn’t want many more,” she said. “Because giving birth was traumatic. But thank you, though, for your blessings.”
Osaka, who welcomed her daughter Shai in July 2023, isn’t wrong. Giving birth is traumatic. The United States continues to have the highest rate of maternal deaths of any high-income nation. And the rate is by far the highest for Black women. And for the women who survive giving birth, they face a host of mentally and physically traumatic postpartum challenges. After having my first daughter three years ago, I felt like I didn’t know myself. I felt distant from my partner; like a foreigner in my own body. I struggled with constant fear and anxiety, and an overall lack of self confidence in every decision I made. For Naomi Osaka, much of that played out in the public eye.
The tennis player took a two-year hiatus from playing in Flushing Meadows after a tough loss to Canada’s Leylah Fernandez in 2021. And Osaka’s December return to the sport has been marred by difficult defeats as she has struggled to get back in the game. All the while, she has displayed an incredible amount of vulnerability.
After a disappointing loss in the Cincinnati U.S Open qualifiers to Ashlyn Krueger, Osaka shared a poignant perspective.
“My biggest issue currently isn’t losses, though, my biggest issue is that I don’t feel like I’m in my body,” Osaka wrote on Instagram.
Call it a comeback, bounce back, snap back or whatever you want — the amount of time it takes for mamas to feel like themselves again after having a baby can differ. Navigating the identity shift is no easy feat, and the mental strain of searching for yourself after such a huge life shift is an even tougher one. That experience is magnified when the public is watching your every move and comparing your postpartum performance to your pre-motherhood one.
Naomi likened her discomfort on the court to the general experience she had postpartum, ultimately feeling like she didn’t recognize herself. So there’s no wonder why she isn’t rushing to have more babies.
In a country where we often feel like women’s bodies belong to us, it doesn’t surprise me that we so frequently find ourselves inquiring about a woman’s family plans. But in that same country where we lack the infrastructure and medical system to adequately support women’s physical and mental health postpartum, it never ceases to amaze me. Naomi has re-introduced herself as a mother and dominant athlete both to herself and to us, and if she doesn’t want to navigate the nearly impossible maze of self rediscovery many moms face after birth, well, in the words of Tim Walz we should all “mind [our] own damn business.”
As Osaka looked up to the sky, eyes filling up with tears on Tuesday, I felt a lump in my own throat.
“I feel like for me, this court is my home,” she said. “It gives me so much more confidence.”
I know all too well what it feels like to get your groove back — and quite frankly find a whole new one — after months of trying and failing to find the woman who existed before becoming a mother. And the fact that Osaka also knew she would get to rock another custom Yoon Ahn outfit cemented the connection even further. Because what mama isn’t waiting to feel good in her clothes again post-baby?
Despite her loss, the tennis star knows she’s a winner regardless. Her Instagram post on Saturday perfectly summed up how her performance went far beyond the tennis court:
“Honestly I had typed out a whole caption about how I’m disappointed with myself etc,” the caption read. “But l’ve been sitting here playing with my daughter and I realized that I couldn’t be more proud of myself. I gave birth to such an amazing human and I played the US Open? A win is a win. Sure it didn’t work out this time but I have faith it will eventually. Thank you NY see you next time.”
The U.S. Open is over for Osaka this year. But one thing’s for sure, she’s found herself again and our probing about her athletic performance, postpartum experience, or pregnancy plans says more about us — and how society treats women athletes — than it does about her.
